The Cultural Mistakes Foreigners Make in Thailand

After 20 years in Thailand, I've seen a lot of foreigners get things wrong here, and I've made my share of mistakes too. Here's what I think matters most.

What's the most common mistake?

Losing your temper. Someone is unhappy with the service, they get frustrated and irritated, and it comes out as anger. It doesn't get you anywhere here. In the West, kicking off might get you the result you want. Here it gets you the opposite.

The Thai approach is sabai sabai: easygoing, and taking things at a slower pace.

So what do you do when something goes wrong?

You still raise it, but in the right way: calmly, with some sympathy and understanding. Don't do it because you're in a bad mood and want to take it out on someone.

Do the etiquette rules matter?

In Pattaya, not as much as people think. Thais here are very understanding of foreigners, and quite westernised, especially in Bangkok but in Pattaya too. If you show the soles of your feet, it's very rare that anyone would say anything, partly because Thais generally avoid confrontation. Get the wai wrong and nobody will mind. Make an honest cultural mistake and you'll almost always be forgiven.

Touching someone's head is different, because you're physically touching them. But you wouldn't go around touching people on the head in any country.

The one subject I'd simply leave alone is the royal family. Thailand has strict laws about the monarchy, and people here just don't discuss it. If you don't go looking for trouble, it isn't something that comes up.

Do Thais tell you when something's wrong?

No, not directly at all. That causes a lot of misunderstandings, especially with the language barrier on top.

These days most of my managers are foreigners, so I'm less exposed to it. But in my earlier years there were plenty of misunderstandings, and often you just have to let them play out. Sometimes you don't find out there was a problem until months later, when you bump into someone who left and they finally tell you why, or someone else does. As a foreigner running a business here, you can be completely unaware there was ever a misunderstanding. I've written more about this in managing Thai staff.

What have I picked up from Thai culture?

Keeping my emotions under control, and not taking life so seriously. I was brought up to believe that if it can be done today, you do it today. Thais are often the other way round, very much "tomorrow, tomorrow". I'm not quite there, but I'm definitely more relaxed than I used to be.

My best advice for fitting in

Learn the language (here's my own honest experience). It shows Thais you're not a tourist, it helps you understand the context of what's going on, and it earns you a little extra respect. I'd give the same advice to anyone moving to a country where their language isn't the official one, whether that's Thailand, Germany or France.

For more, read what I wish I'd known before moving to Thailand and retiring in Pattaya.